Don't Let This F Word Destroy Your Relationship

Which F-word?

Future.

It usually happens when we are sitting and overthinking.

We time travel in our thoughts. Time traveling to the past or future can produce worry and anxiety.

Time traveling to the future gives many of us anxiety because our mind is processing a situation our body can do nothing about.  We are out of alignment and it leaves us feeling powerless.

Feeling powerless sucks so we attempt to gain control of the future to soothe ourselves with any amount of certainty.

And then it gets ugly. Really ugly. Especially in romantic relationships:

A Familiar Love Relationship Scenario - We feel good about our relationship. We are in a love relationship and we want it to continue. We want security. And after finding out that our partner is not as ready to pin down the future as we are, we might beg, whine or manipulate them into begrudgingly giving us a promise or assurances about where our precious relationship is headed.*

Yuck.

Best case scenario we get false security, our partner responds with “maybe someday”. Less than certainty to be sure.

Not what we wanted.

Worst case scenario we get abandoned.

Definitely - not what we wanted.

It’s an age-old relationship tug of war. It is as predictable as it is common.

So, what do we do to stop this painful cycle?

Get back in our power. Reconnect with what we can control and that is ourselves. Learn from our emotions and our actions.

How do we do it?

By connecting with the light and love living in our hearts. By remembering we are never powerless. By remembering the love we are inside instead of seeing only another person as our way to bring love in.

By not giving someone else the responsibility of caring for our emotions.

Our emotions are valuable guides to help us align with more of who we are at the core.

Simple Emotional GPS:

If what we are doing isn’t feeling great, we are not close to aligning with our higher self.

If what we are doing is joyful, we are aligning with the magnificence of who we are.

When we become aware of our emotions, we can us them to help ourselves feel better. We can shift out of the old ruts, routines, expectations and attachments and live in more happiness.  More in the present moment. Where all our power is.

Both partners. Each responsible for their own emotions, actions and happiness.

Can you imagine the relationship we can create from this love centered in the present?

Love On,

Risa Kelley

Optimized Relationships

p.s.- When you feel like sharing, let me know your thoughts, insights, experiences by scheduling a time to talk that works for you. Click here: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching

*(I admit I did this, and it failed miserably. Then I asked my boyfriend to marry me. And he said yes, but that’s a different blog.)

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash