Eye Love

Obituary photos. 

Have you noticed them? Thought about them?

I used to work in a bank. One of my daily tasks was to check out the obituaries and make note of our customers who had passed so we could freeze their bank accounts.

I was young and I saw a lot of obit photos. I was slightly bothered by them because many seem to be of the person at a younger age. A much younger age. Some of the pictures were of the person who passed 20 or 30 years before they passed.

A big chunk of their life and experience went missing. Something important was hidden. 

These pictures didn't seemed aligned with who the person was and how they looked around the time they passed. I was curious about them. I wanted to see them as they lived their full life a year or two before they passed.

Oh I get it. The younger photos represent someone who hasn't  been ravaged by old age or illness. The younger snapshots represent the person as their friends or family want to remember them. If they were in pain when they passed, I understand not wanting to publish it. The younger photos keep our loved ones from being judged. 

But that's just it. The photos represent what used to be instead of what is. 

As I age, I find beauty in the face of someone who has lived a long time. I value seeing life experience and someone who has lived with courage in times of challenge and sickness. A person's story is in their eyes and each story is different and valuable no matter where they are in their life. 

Some of us have been fortunate to know someone who has now passed that we were able to love through the whole process of life and death. And we love now. Is there a deeper love or gift?

It's time to focus with compassion and understanding on the entire circle of life. We grow when we reveal the natural process of living and dying. With acceptance comes peace.

My mom was a patient in hospice twice before she passed. The words of a Japanese proverb are painted on glass at the entrance to this hospice that simply read, "The sun setting is no less beautiful than the sun rising."

A new visual.