Not Going Down the Lonely Road

Alone.

Few words trigger as much emotion as the word alone.

Being alone motivates people. It motivates some people to go off on their own, get quiet and enjoy themselves as they rest, relax and recharge. Solitude is precious.

Being alone motivates other people to search high and low for another person or people to spend time with. Being alone feels lonely. Being alone is to be avoided.

I have felt both. And here’s the thing – once you learn how to love yourself on a deep and authentic level, you can enjoy being alone without feeling lonely. You know how to feel connected while being alone.

Okay, so it starts with self-love. To me, self-love is accepting, appreciating and treating yourself as you would your best friend or a lover. It’s embracing the fact that you are with yourself always, so why not enjoy it and treat yourself as a loved one? Lighten up, you are a loved one!

What makes this so incredibly difficult is that most of us have been taught, told and sold that it is selfish to love our self. It’s not humble. It means you don’t care about other people.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Self-love is where all love begins.

Self-love starts inside by learning to stop judging yourself. Judgment slices open your heart. Judgment scars. Judgment is the opposite of love.

When you remember to release self-criticism, you begin to step towards self-love. When you begin to appreciate all the light and the shadow that make you different from everyone else on the planet, you begin to release the toxic social conditioning that tells you to put everyone else first.

As you stop putting everyone else first, you become responsible for your own emotions and happiness. You learn how to stop filling up from the outside in. You go within and appreciate all that you are and have. And when you master this genuine self-love, you give yourself a wonderful internal foundation and compass to live by. To trust.

When your internal universe is filled with unconditional self-love, you are centered in love. A love that bubbles up to you and then naturally flows to everyone else. And everything. With this comes peace of mind and an ease that other people feel without you forcing it. 

True love.

By loving your self on a deep level, you show other people how to do it too. You model it. You invite them to love who they are. Share who they are.

Imagine this: we have self-loving people that take responsibility for their own emotions and happiness.  No more blame or trying to control.

Then we choose to create love relationships or not. No judgment. When we become people anchored in unconditional self-love that consciously create the relationships we want and release the relationships we don’t want, we are love naturally.

Because self-love feels natural and joyful, more people want to participate in it. Like laughter, self-love is contagious. As we become centered in self-love, fewer and fewer people will be judged and taught to feel lonely or unwanted because they are not coupled off or paired with someone.

Toxic judgment will be released and replaced with true connection.

People that feel true joy will connect with people that feel true joy. We will help each other. And the planet. Through love, we are unstoppable and unlimited in our potential.

The definition of grace.

It starts with self-love and where it ends, I don’t know. We can figure that out together. Take feeling alone and transform it into self-love.  

Love On,

Risa

Photo by Bryan Minear on Unsplash