Thursday, June 21, 2018

No To Relationship Limbo







You are not a stranger to love relationships or you wouldn't be reading this. You know both sides of love. You have enjoyed relationship contentment and suffered relationship conflict. You have been through beautiful highs, connection, fights, abandonment and the deep agony of having your heart broken. You have lived through the ups and downs and yet you might be willing to love again.  



But are you aware of relationship limbo? 



Painful past relationships lead people to settle for relationship limbo. People don’t consciously choose to put themselves in relationship limbo, it just happens. It seems safe, like dust. Relationship limbo is not wanting the conflict of being in a relationship yet hoping your love relationship or lack of love relationship will improve. It’s a sense of knowing not everything is right but not really knowing how to change it. It is endless waiting.



Relationship limbo is hoping your love relationship or lack of love relationship will improve on it's own. It’s wanting to do something about it but having no idea what to do. It’s the awful in between zone where you’re not totally happy and yet you’re not quite unhappy enough to take serious action.  It’s the middle of nowhere where nothing extremely painful happens but nothing extremely joyful happens either.



It’s boring when you want more love.



People in committed love relationships with loving partners experience relationship limbo. Single people who want to be in a love relationship and aren’t experience relationship limbo. Many of us experience relationship limbo at different times in our lives.



It’s difficult to get out of relationship limbo because the idea of changing seems scary or overwhelming or just too much damn work.



And you so you go on waiting in relationship limbo where you live stuck.



Why stay stuck and is there a way out?



Hope keeps you stuck. Hope keeps you exactly where you are. Hope of your ex coming back and loving you for all you are. Hope that your partner will see the amazing person you are and appreciate you for it. Hope that your magical soulmate you’ve heard so much about will swoop in carry you off the land of love.



Here's the big reason you stay stuck: your hope that your situation will change on its own.



Because you don’t know what else to do. You’ve tried everything you, your friends, family or experts have taught you. You are exhausted by and fed up with trying what doesn’t work. You may go as so far to think something is wrong with you or you are broken.



You are not broken. You don’t need to be fixed.



You need new information and a non-judgmental plan. You need new approaches and mindset shifts that really work and don’t leave you feeling beat up and down and out at the same time.



I know, I know you have been promised a lot of shit that didn’t work, right? I am here to change all that.



How?



The first step:



I want you to stop looking for love outside yourself for a little while. I want you to help yourself feel genuinely happy. I want you to love yourself first.



Yep. The key to the love kingdom starts with self-love first.



I know, I know. You have been taught, brainwashed and shamed into thinking self-love is selfish.



It’s not.



Self-love is the path to love that lasts. When you learn how to love your self on a deep level, you show other people how to love you. You love other people because you love yourself not because you want them to like you. People pleasing is gone forever.



Self-love is an amazing gift that keeps on giving.



Authentic self-love allows you to hold space for other people to love themselves. Imagine people that take full responsibility for their own emotions and actions. Imagine what happens when they want to create love relationships.



Next, we have a lot of people that choose to come together and create relationships because they choose love. Not because they need someone else to save them, financially support them, love them or make their life meaningful.



Bye-bye neediness and desperation.



Two people anchored in love can choose to combine their loves to create a third type of love that is different than each of their loves. They create a conscious dynamic new love energy. More love energy on the planet will help us shift out of fear.



Does this make sense? Are you feeling it’s possible?



If you are, it might be time for you to join my love tribe. A great place to start is with my face book group: Loveologists.  Loveologists is a non-judgmental, private, fun group to share what matters most to you about love and meet other loveologists. Click the link below to check out if Loveologists is a good fit for you: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1503456919702692/



Have you had enough of relationship limbo? Then, stop doing what you know doesn’t work. Try a new approach to having more fun, connection and love in your life now.  



When you are ready, love is here.



Love On,

Risa

Optimized Relationships



p.s. – If you want the fastest path to love that lasts, let’s talk. Schedule your FREE 30-minute strategy call with me here: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching 

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