Thursday, June 7, 2018

Help Me Get My Ex Back




The first time I talk with Melissa she is tearful and her voice breaks. Melissa’s ex-boyfriend took out a restraining order against her. She tells me she is in love with him and she needs to get back together with him.



Tim’s girlfriend has cheated on him for the 10th time and he wants to “save the relationship.”



These are 2 past clients (their names have been changed) of mine that wanted to know how to get their ex partners back. There are many more who share this common desire of wanting to get back together. I have heard dozens of variations on the same theme of - I want to get back with my ex and I’ll do anything to achieve it. Getting back with my ex is the only thing that will make me happy, I can’t eat, sleep or be happy without them ever again. S/He is the only one I want.



Others ask me for a love spell. Or to reveal to them the 5 secret words that you can repeat to have your ex return to you and stay forever. Because they have been taught that there is a magic pill for everything, they want a quick fix. Instant gratification. They kick themselves thinking about what they did wrong and how if they could, they would go back in time and fix this.



Sound familiar?



When their friends, family and co-workers stop listening and their eyes glaze over as they repeat for the 100th time their desires to get back with their ex, they call me.



No judgment, I understand. I understand that if things could just go back to the way they were, their love life would be perfect.



Only it wouldn’t.



It wouldn’t because they are miserable. They are crushed and hurt. And nobody can make it better except for them. Their ex isn’t responsible for their emotions, they are.



They aren’t close to being who they are at their core.  When they feel awful, they are far, far away from being their genuine self. They are upset and unhappy because they aren’t being loved for amazing person they are now.



So, they try to bring love in through the outside world and in through their ex.



They want to go back to a relationship that doesn’t serve them because it’s familiar. Humans don’t like change. They would usually rather deal with what they know than deal with the new and unknown. Unknown is scary.



Here’s the thing: there is growth in pain if they allow it. Pain is an opportunity to feel better. Releasing the pain makes them stronger. They can mindfully choose to get quiet and reflect. Go inside and really think about what happened and what the lesson is. They can use this information to go forward and begin to heal. Use it to help align more with their heart and the genuine core of their being.



They and you can learn to allow, embrace and release pain to free up space for something new in life. That’s where I come in. I help my clients learn to move on. A great place start is with my free first module of Win the Love Game – You Are the One. Click here to receive it now: https://optimizedrelationships.com/wtlg-freemodule1-v1

I offer everyone I work with understanding, support, accountability and strategy to create the relationships you dream of. Learn skills that will last a lifetime to help you feel better in all your love relationships. I help you align more with the amazing person you are inside and share it. 

Instead of searching for love on the outside. Or through your ex. Or in a pill, product or spell.



The love you seek is inside. You are strong. You have your answers. Work on yourself first and then your relationships ease into place.



Love On,

Risa



p.s.- See if the free content in the first section of my online course resonates with you. Click here:  https://optimizedrelationships.com/wtlg-freemodule1-v1

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

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