Soul Love

In love


I watch you sleep to make sure you are breathing

I want to help with your struggle but know I can't

I want to protect you from harm

I will be emotionally devastated if you leave for any reason

I know there are layers to my love for you, some I don't understand

I don't want my time with you to end

I think of you many, many times during my day and at night

The thought of you brings joy to my heart

I am afraid of how much I do love you

I love you even though it isn't logical

I notice your presence through your absence

Love on

www.optimizedrelationships.com

Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash

Lied to Much?

It seems like there is a bit of upset in the air lately. Rage. Static. Fear. Lies. 

I get it. You have been lied to repeatedly and it's frustrating, unfair and just plain confusing:

you might have been lead to believe there is a quick fix or pill for everything

or more money will solve all your problems 

or your soulmate will understand you more than you understand yourself. 

Nope. Not true.

You are the only one who can save yourself. So stop looking for your solutions outside of yourself. Every resource you spend chasing something outside of yourself is misdirected. You can not fill up from the outside in with food, people, material things, shopping, video games, porn, exercise, alcohol, drugs, gambling or thrills.

Being in perfect health won't do it

Winning the lottery won't do it

Finding your soulmate won't do it


No one or nothing is going to empower you to make your life as you dream and know it can be for you, except YOU. No one knows you better than you, so trust yourself. Believe in yourself. 

Empower yourself. You are the only one who can do it. 

Peace, love and fulfillment are inside you now. Remember them. Reacquaint yourself with what you have always known. Listen to your intuition, your voice and your wisdom. Understand and share them. True empowerment is sourced within and radiates from you. 

You can do it.

It will be incredibly hard work.
It will be extremely rewarding. 

Life isn't happening to you, life is happening through you and the moment you flip the script, everything changes. Tune into what you have inside and all the background noise fades. . . 


Instead of being fed up with stuff that doesn't work, use that energy to feed your talents, strengths and gifts. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind. Create an incredible journey, life and joy for yourself. The definition of empowerment. 

Love on. 




***For more of this grab a free copy of your free guide:
5 Steps to Find Your Forever Love Even if You Hate Dating Games at https://optimizedrelationships.com/free

my website: https://optimizedrelationships.com/optin

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

Stop Biting Back Your Tears

Love is infinite and eternal, yet love relationships change and sometimes end:

Someone you love moves far away and you lose touch . . . 
A connective relationship dissolves. . . 
Your loved one passes. 

This doesn't mean your love for your loved one ends. Your love for them changes. And so do you. 

When an important love relationship ends, the realization that you won't be able to see, touch, talk or be with your loved one again is beyond painful. Stinging. Biting. A heart crushing loss. 

You feel an aching emptiness. Physical illness. A void. A challenge to go on and to function.

Loss tilts the day and then marks your days. Life doesn't seem the same. The finality bites into your heart. You cant go back and yet you don't know how to go forward.

You replay memories that bring you comfort and more grief. The echoes and whispers of your love hurt you now. Your loved one is present through their absence. 

How the hell do you get out of this pain-laced house of mirrors?

Trust yourself. Go within. Close your tear swollen eyes and allow yourself a moment of peace. A small time out from grief. 

A breath.

Give yourself more small breaks at first. Then increase the number and frequency of times you allow yourself to rest. Let go and relax even if you can't sleep now.

Time will help you begin to heal and you can help yourself as well. You can choose to be gentle with yourself. Don't judge yourself. Don't make yourself wrong.

Allow your feelings. Allow yourself time to process your feelings. Allow your strength to return.

Reach out. Ask for help. Ask for help, it is one of the most courageous actions you can take.

Talk to someone who will listen and understand and not steer a majority of conversation to their experiences of grief and loss. Express your feelings in a safe and non-judgmental space in your way. 

It hurts more to keep grief in. Journal, exercise, create and express yourself. 

Allow your grief. Clarify the learning and gems in your grief. Release it.

Don't stuff it down inside of you. Don't fight it. Don't numb yourself out and dissociate from it. 

Your grief means you loved. Your grief will take you to the other side of your emotions and to days of more love. Make peace with your feelings. Feel the whole spectrum of emotions, they are your guides to more of what you want and less of what you don't want.

Your grief will help you connect with more joy when you are ready. The deep loss you feel is a hint at the magnitude of love you feel. 

And you are here to love. 

For more of this grab a free copy of your free guide:
5 Steps to Find Your Forever Love Even if You Hate Dating Games at https://optimizedrelationships.com/free

my website: https://optimizedrelationships.com/optin



Photo by pan xiaozhen on Unsplash

Doing Your Laundry and Dating

The friends zone.

Uh-oh. . . . .
Not a good place to be.
You have preconceived ideas about it.

The friends zone gets no love. The relationship zone gets love and it's where all the magic happens.

Like sorting your laundry from a broken plastic laundry basket into lights and darks, there are two possibilities.

Or are there?

Can you reframe how you feel about the friends zone or at least consider that it might be a place to visit or spend some time? A new mindset may be a key to romance for you. 

What happens in the friend zone? People become friends. Having friends is lovely. So far, so good.

What is missing from the friends zone? Red hot, mind numbing Sex, of course. The tingles. Physical bonding. A reciprocal desire to see where this leads. 

Could it be that the friends zone and the romance zone have a bridge between them? Are they linked?

Some people begin a relationship in the friends zone and then cross the bridge into the romance zone. It takes effort and energy to be curious about each other, feel a mutual connection and discover what each of you like. Common ground. From this friends zone beginning you can each decide to combine your relationship energies in the romance zone. Or go your own ways. No judgment.

What will grant or deny you unlimited access in the friends zone and the romance zone? 

Your expectations.

Your expectations allow you access to the friends zone or allow you access to the romance zone. An open mind will help you go between both zones: back and forth. Being comfortable in both zones will serve you well no matter your relationship status.

In many long term love relationships, sex happens in phases. Reality. Sex might be full on or it might be infrequent for a week, or a month or several months in your long term relationship. If you are able to navigate between zones, you won't lock yourself into a narrow concept for happiness.

Imagine you are not in a relationship now. 

If you expect "The One" to arrive in your life and understand, nurture, protect and shower you with gifts, attention and soul shaking love, you are placing an unrealistic intention on the people you meet. Your keep the friends zone and romance zone harshly separate for yourself in your head and heart with your expectations.

The people you meet automatically and immediately fall into the friends zone or the romance zone. Done deal. Over. Next. Just like laundry, only two possibilities.

Is that fair? Fair to you? Of course not. 

How many times have you met someone and immediately and judged them? And disliked them? Be honest. Have any of your solid friendships begun with no expectation and/or a negative or slightly off connection? Did a connective friendship develop between you?

No expectation (not standards -keep your standards as you like them) allows a connection to develop between you and the people you meet naturally. With ease. Honestly. 

As you release your limiting expectations, you feel lighter. Uncover and unlearn what drains, exhausts and hurts you. A happier you is attractive. 

Like the mid-range colors in your laundry that wash together, see new possibilities for yourself to expand.Open space for new relationships. Friendships, love relationships and all the beautiful connections in between belong in your basket of joy.


For more of this grab a free copy of your free guide:
5 Steps to Find Your Forever Love Even if You Hate Dating Games at https://optimizedrelationships.com/free

my website: https://optimizedrelationships.com/optin

Photo by Raka Rachgo on Unsplash

No More FOMO

Stop.

From this moment on, no more fear of missing out. It's time for new action and new love results for you. 

You want a hot partner,
someone who makes you laugh,
and that has your back and knows you better than you know yourself.

That is a problem. One tall universal order. 

Don't run away, hear me out. Don't expect someone else to do what you won't. 

Nobody knows you better than you know yourself. Nobody is coming to save you. There is no rescue. Keep clicking the heels of your ruby red slippers and see what happens. What continues to happen. What has happened too many times in the past.

You have been promised and tried a lot of nonsense. Pain. Mind games. Misrepresentations and flat out lies. 

Healthy long lasting love is not for a closed heart. 

Open your heart and commit. Commit to yourself. It takes a lot of energy, sweat and tears to be the person you want to be with. It's time to go all in and shift what keeps you stuck.

Start inside.
Do your deep inner work.
Close your eyes and breathe.

Prioritize time to listen to your inner guidance. Tune into your self awareness. Take responsibility for your own emotions and get yourself feeling good first.

Then choose if  you want a love relationship. Or do you want to be purposefully and happily single? Choose to honor yourself and your intuition. Choose what aligns with you. 

Forget toxic social conditioning and acculturation, go your own way. Relationships are evolving and changing. What feels right for you? Make an empowered choice from the totality of your heart and being not because you have been sold a fairy tale, a myth or out of desperation.

Love on.





For more of this grab a free copy of your free guide:
5 Steps to Find Your Forever Love Even if You Hate Dating Games at https://optimizedrelationships.com/free

my website: https://optimizedrelationships.com/optin

Photo by Elijah Hiett on Unsplash

Hooked on Dreams

Want to feel better?
Make a ton of cash?
Find "the one"?
Become a bigger influencer?

What is one thing that would make your life better right now? What's your game changer? How much do you crave a solution?

So you search. You might look for well-being, financial stability and relationships that fire you up. You vacillate between finding them and fleeing them.

Like a fish with a silver metal hook stuck through your bottom lip, you fight against what you want. Your dream. You have tried for it many times and in a million different ways and yet nothing changes. 

No results. Your dream dissolves into ache. You are so aware of what is missing. 

The endless search drains you. You are weary and exhausted. You can't think of a solution so you stay snagged on the cold hook at the bottom of the muddy river.

But somewhere deep inside you know there is absolutely more for you. Some corner of you knows. . . 

And you couldn't be more right.
On target.
Aligned with who you are.

You are not separate from what you seek. 

You have unlimited potential and possibilities. Everything you look for outside of yourself you have inside you now. Your abundant internal wisdom and answers swim free within you.

Your intuition may be a soft whisper, but it's there. Here. Honor it. Tune into it. Nobody else knows what is right for you. Your voice lives and vibrates within your heart.

Listen to that voice. Get quiet. Become still. Stop distracting yourself with stuff that doesn't matter and crank up the volume on your voice inside that knows. Knows your path to more joy. More fulfilment. Plenty. Use it to connect with what exhilarates you and elevates your life energy. Kick it up. 

Close your eyes and breathe ease into your body. Spaciousness. Remember your strengths. Focus on what you are grateful for. Get the feels for your connections to all that is. 

Time to free yourself from the hook of happiness outside yourself. True health, prosperity and fabulous relationships start in you.

With you.

For you.

Hear your voice and share it.


more at: optimizedrelationships.com




Photo by kazuend on Unsplash

Before It's Too Late

Like dust landing on a dashboard or
sand in the bottom of a clear stream,

do not settle.

Not with the dentist you choose.

Or the food you eat.

Or in your love relationships.

Settling shifts into a twisty habit that is hard to break. 

Seek out experiences, providers, employers, friends and partners that you feel good about and like being around. That elevate your energy, not drain it. Run from people and experiences that constrict you.

You are enough. 

No matter what anyone tells you, you do not need to be fixed.

You are broken only when you believe it. 

Don't believe it. 

Offer the world your own combination of magnificence, light and love. Consciously choose to align with what you prefer. Go to your joy, live in your bliss. Activate your unconditional love. 

You have internal wisdom and a very clear compass: Go to what feels nice and reminds you of your power. Run from what feels painful and increases your self doubt and perceived powerlessness. Choose to use the resources of your time, money and energy on what helps you feel alive and appreciated.

Live out loud. Full on. Pedal through the metal. 

Shift out of settling in small and large steps. Begin today. Attune with the feeling and energy of what you want. Help yourself. Give yourself permission. Consciously choose to feel better a little bit at a time.

Stir it up and drink it in, your time to settle is over. 

more at: optimizedrelationships.com

Photo by Austin Ban on Unsplash