Comparing Relationships

What kills creating new love relationships before they start?

The toxic social conditioning of

Comparison and

Competition

You have seen it a million times over dozens of platforms

A fake or real relationship lifestyle

Celebrities posting about their fabulous partners

Friends coupling up on social media relationship status’

Nothing is wrong with well intentioned sharing and genuine help

Until we compare/contrast ourselves with a tiny slice of life posted on social media or face to face

Until we compare our insides with other people’s outsides

Until we use other people’s relationships to beat ourselves up

We have a natural tendency to assess our environment and scan for threats

To measure what we lack

And that is all well and good

Until it isn’t

Until we take it from the jungle to our emotions

Comparing ourselves to others can turn into a nasty cycle of I am better than they are, I am less than they are.

Hurts

Ever done it?

We all have

No one is superior to anybody else, no matter what we have been taught

What’s the way out?

To unlearn ranking, rating and judging

To measure what we have in this present moment without comparing or competing

With love

Big Love

Unconditional Love

Invincible Love

When we offer compassion and love to ourselves first, we begin to shift to genuine gratitude

Genuine gratitude is a game changer

The game changer

With gratitude we measure what we love about what we have now

And get more to be grateful for

A delicious cycle

Are you in?

Love On,

Risa Kelley

Optimized Relationships

p.s.- message me here: https://m.me/RisaKelley or if you want to get on the phone and schedule a free 30 minute call with me, click here: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching

Welcome the Love Lighthouse

Can you feel it?

We are constructing a bright new lighthouse of love and connection on the internet

Online we have access to thousands of online sites, apps, coaches and abundant information

Which is a fabulous leap forward for all of us

Until. . .

It isn’t

And we use our old love approaches, patterns and pain to navigate these sparkling new love frontiers

I don’t have to tell you

It’s not working as well as it can

Brave and courageous lovelies, lovers and love lookers step up to try new love systems

with buckets of past pain and ineffective tools to turn up their light

And wonder why they get the same, if not worse, love results

I am here to tell you

It’s all in our love mindset

Your love mindset

Individually and collectively

And it stars with individually

With you

It begins with your awareness

Of your love energy

Of your light quotient

And a willingness to release what hurts you and try new

Next

Are you willing to do whatever it takes to increase and shine your love energy?

I have effective new information, tools, exercises and visualizations to help you and they are important

But not as important

As the love sourced in you

Now

No matter what anybody has taught, told and sold you

You are not broken

You do not need to be fixed

You need to remember

The beautiful and blinding unconditional love and light that always exist together in your heart

That are you

And ask for help

Love On,

Risa Kelley

Optimized Relationships

p.s.- message me here: https://m.me/RisaKelley or if you want to get on the phone and schedule a free 30 minute call with me, click here: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching

Photo by Evgeni Tcherkasski on Unsplash

Are You a Love Lurker?

No judgment

Judgment is the opposite of love

No judgment

Because we all do it

Read and watch without commenting

Keep our opinions and feelings quiet

For a powerful reason

Maybe not to remember or bring up pain

Maybe to spare someone being hurt

Maybe not to interact

But here’s the thing:

We need to share our ideas, emotions, feelings, opinions, dreams, embarrassments, silliness, laughter and pain about all types of love because the more we share, the more we learn, the more we can help each other.

Understand

Relate

Express

On our shared love journey

Here

In this moment

In this space

Together

When we share what matters to us most about any love, we bring our emotions to light and offer their information to our personal and then collective awareness’

We begin to shift from fear towards unconditional love

We increase the compassion we give to each other

We shine more love out into the world

And you know where that leads

To more mutual understanding, empathy and kindness

To valuing everyone’s contribution

Helping us to plan and take action on

Solutions that will overwhelm our challenges

And consciously create relationships we can enjoy

A planet beginning to shift to more unconditional love

Of cooperation, coherence and patience

Of shared unity and inclusion

A world we dream of

A world sourced in love

If you lurk

Or if you don’t

No judgment

When you are ready, we welcome your respectful opinions, ideas and feelings about love

Now is the time

This is the place

Love On,

Risa Kelley

Optimized Relationships

p.s.- message me here: https://m.me/RisaKelley or if you want to schedule a free 30 minute call with me, click here: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching

Photo by Dave Sebele on Unsplash

F**k New Year's Love Resolutions

Unless they really work for you.

In that case, go you!

Genuine fulfillment isn’t going to arrive in another broken resolution

It isn’t external.

Profound fulfillment is sourced inside of you now

Always has been

Always will be.

New Year’s is a fabulous time to unlearn the toxic social conditioning that most of us have learned too well:

We aren’t our relationships

We aren’t if we are with a partner or not

We aren’t our appearance

We aren’t our finances

We aren’t our health

We are enough.

We are our core heart and how much we choose to share of it.

In a way that excites and terrifies us simultaneously.

As we close out 2018, I have a challenge for you if you want to accept it.

Are you up for it?

How open hearted and vulnerable are you willing to be?

How much of your love are you willing to apply to your life in 2019?

How much love are you willing to give and receive in 2019?

What are your unconditional love goals?

We need your loving piece of the puzzle.

How will you challenge yourself to grow while contributing to the greater whole of the world?

I am honestly interested in your answers and thoughts.  No judgment. Comment or message me.

Listening . . .

Love On,

Risa Kelley

Optimized Relationships

p.s.- message me here: https://m.me/RisaKelley or if you want to schedule a free 30 minute call with me, click here: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching

Photo by Hybrid on Unsplash

This Time of Year

If you are tempted to feel alone

Or lonely

Or like you don’t matter

Please remember and take this to heart:

You have light inside of you

That burns bright

And intensifies all light

Your light is present now

Yesterday

And tomorrow

We need your light

Because it is you

And no one else can offer it.

You matter

You 

Because of the light inside you.

Love On,

Risa Kelley

p.s.- If you want practical steps and strategies on your connection with more unconditional love, message me here: https://m.me/RisaKelley

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Love Won't Leave You Even If You Want it To

Real love is beyond bliss.

Lost love is shattering.

Most of us experience both

Deep sorrows and exquisite joy.

Because we are wired for survival, our painful experiences may stick with us longer than our fantastic moments.

We hold the fear of losing love in a tense pocket hidden inside our bruised heart.

We don’t know how to heal it, so we conceal it.

Hiding it may make our fear and pain stronger.

When we might be tempted to pry open our heart a slight sliver,

we are reminded of the pain that crushed us before,

So, we slam the door.

We go on our way and we say, I might love again

Tomorrow.

Not today.

Today I am not ready to try again.

That’s the thing about love and life.

Today is where all our power is.

In this very moment.

Not tomorrow, not someday. Now.

Real love is not going to arrive when the conditions are just right.

Real love is here now.

Ever present.

It’s within us now

Always has been

Always will be.

Love won’t leave us even if we want it to

The unconditional love we carry inside won’t ever abandon us

Our love energy connects us with all love energy

Everywhere.

Love holds the energy of the universe together.

Our breath, pulse, and heartbeats bond us with all love energy.

Life energy.

We can’t really be alone.

Unless we think we are.

Or feel we are.

Then we know the most profound separation and

Loneliness

is self-imposed.

Nurture, radiate and receive unconditional love today.

Not tomorrow.

Love On,

Risa Kelley

Optimized Relationships

p.s.- When you are ready to let go of past pain and hurt, take one new action today and schedule a time to talk with me that works for you. Ready for a free phone call? Click here: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching

Photo by John Petalcurin on Unsplash

Embracing New Love Energy

Many of us want new love, more love, different love. We know it.

We may not be as clear on how to embrace the love we want.

To enjoy new love, we must release our limiting beliefs and take new action.

If we knew what our limiting beliefs are, we would release them, right?

Releasing what doesn’t serve us any more begins with self-awareness.

With becoming aware of our thoughts that hold us back.

Most of us believe thoughts about ourselves that aren’t true.

Like: I am not enough, or I am not young enough, or pretty enough or rich enough or skinny enough or ideal enough.

We have learned through painful experience that we don’t measure up to what someone else expected of us.

But that doesn’t matter for 2 reasons:

We are more than our appearance and

Our love is on the inside and we are the only person who can accept or reject our self on a deep level.

When we learn to love ourselves fully and on an authentic level, we release our limiting beliefs that hold us back.

Then our new beliefs inspire our new actions.

So, we begin to release we absolutely believe about our self that hurts.

Love doesn’t hurt.

It’s time to let go of the pain that has hurt us and remember that at our core, we are love.

No exceptions.

We come from love, we are love now and we return to love.

When we are ready to choose to be vulnerable and we remember the love we are at our core, new love has begun.

Love On,

Risa Kelley

Optimized Relationships

p.s.- When you are ready to let go of past pain and hurt, take one new action today and schedule a time to talk with me that works for you. Ready for a free phone call? Click here: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching

Photo by Richard M. on Unsplash