Luck and Love

Are you lucky in Love?

Are you unlucky in Love?

Would you be reading this if you weren’t a tiny bit interested in love?

What’s luck got to do with love anyway? Not a lot.

Not really. Love isn’t so much something that happens to you. It happens through you. Love lives within you now.  It always has, it always will. You and your love are inseparable, stuck like beautiful glue.

Want to feel more self-love?

Close your eyes and allow your breathing to settle. Forget love with other people for now. Think of love and yourself. Think of what unconditional love feels like to you. In the center of your heart.

Self-love.

Remember a time when love felt healing to you. Recall a time in your life when you felt completely safe and blissed out. Were you in nature? With a pet? Near a stream, a lake, the ocean? Is it sunny? Bring up the details of what you were seeing, thinking, feeling. In your thoughts, revisit a time when you felt safe, warm and embraced by life. Call it up. Use it to center yourself in challenging situations.

You are love expressing as yourself. You come from love and you return to more love.

Of course, your love energy connects you with love energy everywhere. One Love. Big Love. Unconditional Love. Love Consciousness.

You are loving, lovable and loved. You are your love.

Feel unconditional love wrap around you like a clean, cotton blanket fresh from the dryer. Notice how it calms you and claims you. Unconditional love is safe. Unconditional love is inclusive. Unconditional love is not judgmental. Unconditional love helps you know that you are enough and you are not broken. You don’t need to be fixed.

The only time you are separate from unconditional love is when you think you are or you believe you are or you feel you are. When you notice that you feel separate from love, use it as clue, a red flag or a sign to reconnect with the love you have in your heart and at the core of who you are.  Get back to your loving mindset.

Consciously choose to inhabit love.

Mindfully remember you are in the universal flow of love and it is within you. Together. One. Your heart beat, your pulse and your breath. Visualize bright, inclusive, warm, white light as it pours into your entire being.  Visualize white love light with sparks of gorgeous colors as they flow to and through every cell in your body.

Feel the heal.

Luck has little to do with it. Let unconditional love envelop you.

Check out more at:   

https://optimizedrelationships.com/optin

Photo by Dan Freeman on Unsplash

Follow Your Feelings To Love

Relationships have a starting point.  

Of course, you know this starting place is within your reach. In your heart. Maybe you want to create a relationship and maybe you don't. Sometimes it just happens. 

Your relationships with your family began or continued with your birth or theirs. Your relationships with your friends started the moment you met.  You might remember the stir of love at first sight or you might not believe in it, but your relationships start with your first interaction.

It is all begins with energy. Energy connects us. Hate energy separates us. Love energy bonds us.

As you become aware of your feelings and your emotions, (your feelings are within you and your emotions are your reactions to external events and people), you can allow them, learn from them and release them to help energy move through your body. To help yourself feel better.

You are the only one who can help yourself feel better.

You begin to find the gems in the most painful experience. Instead of avoiding, stuffing or numbing out your feelings and emotions, you learn more about yourself.  It isn’t easy. It is rewarding. You do deep inner work to gain more clarity.

You trust yourself.

Your deep self-knowing and self-awareness help you understand and self soothe. As you realize you are responsible for your feelings and emotions, external people and situations have less influence over you. People pleasing fades. You are empowered to take ownership of your feelings, emotions and life. From this concrete foundation of strength, choose to shift to what feels better for you.

Choosing to feel better puts and keeps you in harmony with the flow of energy of the universe. The more you envision and inhabit your joy, the more time you enjoy! You don’t have to coerce of force anything. You flow in the current of energy that matches your energy. When you are in your joy, you are naturally attractive.

You are aligned with the real you. The person you are at your very core. The person that is love. Game playing gives way to open, honest connection and communication.

Effort to ease.

You elevate the relationship you have with yourself.

And then every relationship you have follows.

Love On.

check out my website here: https://optimizedrelationships.com/optin 

Photo by James Baldwin on Unsplash

Ready to Revisit Love?

You.

I see you everywhere and nowhere. Hell, I used to be you.

I notice you as you go about your day: at work, at the store and in traffic. I see you out and about. Surviving.

But something is missing. . . . 

Big Love.

I understand you don't want to give up on love but you've learned love hurts. It's crushed your heart. You want to try/not try love relationships again. The teeter totter is as confusing as it is exhausting.

I don't see you having a blast with all your relationships or your emotions. I don't see you loving full throttle. You wonder if it's worth your effort.

You are not thriving or firing on all your sparked cylinders. 

And that is why I am here.

For you. With you. My passion is to help you learn effective new ways to have the long lasting love relationship you dream of. To connect to more joy and love - your birthrights.

Remember this: It's not your fault. 

The old games, rules and generalizations you were taught simply don't work. Barely ever did. They cause extreme pain and separation. It's time to kick them to the curb and begin a new path to love today.

There is so much more for you. More hope, more ease and more love. 

If your are a doer and many areas of your life are going well for you except your love relationships. . . and you have tried time and time again to create relationships you are worthy of without success . . .If you know inside at a deep level there is much more love for you  . . .and you've learned to numb out your emotions that hurt . . .

THEN . . .hang on to your beating heart, you are in for a wild and exhilarating flight in Big Love. One Love. Your Love.

I am here to connect you with more love; so much more of what you crave. To help you listen to and honor your internal wisdom. To amplify and honor those intuitive whispers that remind you that you are so worthy of being loved. To create relationships you love in fresh ways you might not have considered. To have fun in love. 

How?  

Unlearn what you have learned that hurts.

The obstacle is the way and sometimes you need help seeing what keeps you stuck. I support you, provide accountability and help you reveal your love blind spots. Together we look at your concerns, fear, limiting beliefs and your habits, because if you knew how to change it up, you would have by now. I help you release what keeps you stuck and replace it with what feels much better. Unconditional love. 

Where do we start?

With those emotions you have been avoiding. Stuffing. Numbing out.

Your emotions are your key to connecting to more love now. They are your quiet guides brimming with information for you to live the love life you want. When you explore and understand the helpful information they give you, everything changes. 

You thrive. You live out loud and in all colors of the spectrum. You shine your love light. 

You stop judging yourself. You stop defending yourself. You draw on a internally sourced well of confidence that makes you rejection proof and naturally attractive. 

Sound good?

It's time to get loving.

Learn to let go of your blind spots and blocks during safe and sensitive weekly phone conversations. And unlike therapy, we don't revisit the past over and over again or work for years on what you want for yourself. You want new results now and I can help you deliver them faster and for less expense than you would get on your own. 

The next move is yours.

Check out more on my website: https://optimizedrelationships.com/optin
or pick a time to talk to me for your free phone coaching session that works for you here:  https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching
Open up space for new. New experiences, new adventures and new people. It's time for your new love. It takes hard work. And so does staying stuck. Surviving instead of thriving. 

The choice is yours. Choose love. 

Love on.






Photo by Ian Espinosa on Unsplash

Soul Love

In love


I watch you sleep to make sure you are breathing

I want to help with your struggle but know I can't

I want to protect you from harm

I will be emotionally devastated if you leave for any reason

I know there are layers to my love for you, some I don't understand

I don't want my time with you to end

I think of you many, many times during my day and at night

The thought of you brings joy to my heart

I am afraid of how much I do love you

I love you even though it isn't logical

I notice your presence through your absence

Love on

www.optimizedrelationships.com

Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash

Lied to Much?

It seems like there is a bit of upset in the air lately. Rage. Static. Fear. Lies. 

I get it. You have been lied to repeatedly and it's frustrating, unfair and just plain confusing:

you might have been lead to believe there is a quick fix or pill for everything

or more money will solve all your problems 

or your soulmate will understand you more than you understand yourself. 

Nope. Not true.

You are the only one who can save yourself. So stop looking for your solutions outside of yourself. Every resource you spend chasing something outside of yourself is misdirected. You can not fill up from the outside in with food, people, material things, shopping, video games, porn, exercise, alcohol, drugs, gambling or thrills.

Being in perfect health won't do it

Winning the lottery won't do it

Finding your soulmate won't do it


No one or nothing is going to empower you to make your life as you dream and know it can be for you, except YOU. No one knows you better than you, so trust yourself. Believe in yourself. 

Empower yourself. You are the only one who can do it. 

Peace, love and fulfillment are inside you now. Remember them. Reacquaint yourself with what you have always known. Listen to your intuition, your voice and your wisdom. Understand and share them. True empowerment is sourced within and radiates from you. 

You can do it.

It will be incredibly hard work.
It will be extremely rewarding. 

Life isn't happening to you, life is happening through you and the moment you flip the script, everything changes. Tune into what you have inside and all the background noise fades. . . 


Instead of being fed up with stuff that doesn't work, use that energy to feed your talents, strengths and gifts. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind. Create an incredible journey, life and joy for yourself. The definition of empowerment. 

Love on. 




***For more of this grab a free copy of your free guide:
5 Steps to Find Your Forever Love Even if You Hate Dating Games at https://optimizedrelationships.com/free

my website: https://optimizedrelationships.com/optin

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

Stop Biting Back Your Tears

Love is infinite and eternal, yet love relationships change and sometimes end:

Someone you love moves far away and you lose touch . . . 
A connective relationship dissolves. . . 
Your loved one passes. 

This doesn't mean your love for your loved one ends. Your love for them changes. And so do you. 

When an important love relationship ends, the realization that you won't be able to see, touch, talk or be with your loved one again is beyond painful. Stinging. Biting. A heart crushing loss. 

You feel an aching emptiness. Physical illness. A void. A challenge to go on and to function.

Loss tilts the day and then marks your days. Life doesn't seem the same. The finality bites into your heart. You cant go back and yet you don't know how to go forward.

You replay memories that bring you comfort and more grief. The echoes and whispers of your love hurt you now. Your loved one is present through their absence. 

How the hell do you get out of this pain-laced house of mirrors?

Trust yourself. Go within. Close your tear swollen eyes and allow yourself a moment of peace. A small time out from grief. 

A breath.

Give yourself more small breaks at first. Then increase the number and frequency of times you allow yourself to rest. Let go and relax even if you can't sleep now.

Time will help you begin to heal and you can help yourself as well. You can choose to be gentle with yourself. Don't judge yourself. Don't make yourself wrong.

Allow your feelings. Allow yourself time to process your feelings. Allow your strength to return.

Reach out. Ask for help. Ask for help, it is one of the most courageous actions you can take.

Talk to someone who will listen and understand and not steer a majority of conversation to their experiences of grief and loss. Express your feelings in a safe and non-judgmental space in your way. 

It hurts more to keep grief in. Journal, exercise, create and express yourself. 

Allow your grief. Clarify the learning and gems in your grief. Release it.

Don't stuff it down inside of you. Don't fight it. Don't numb yourself out and dissociate from it. 

Your grief means you loved. Your grief will take you to the other side of your emotions and to days of more love. Make peace with your feelings. Feel the whole spectrum of emotions, they are your guides to more of what you want and less of what you don't want.

Your grief will help you connect with more joy when you are ready. The deep loss you feel is a hint at the magnitude of love you feel. 

And you are here to love. 

For more of this grab a free copy of your free guide:
5 Steps to Find Your Forever Love Even if You Hate Dating Games at https://optimizedrelationships.com/free

my website: https://optimizedrelationships.com/optin



Photo by pan xiaozhen on Unsplash

Doing Your Laundry and Dating

The friends zone.

Uh-oh. . . . .
Not a good place to be.
You have preconceived ideas about it.

The friends zone gets no love. The relationship zone gets love and it's where all the magic happens.

Like sorting your laundry from a broken plastic laundry basket into lights and darks, there are two possibilities.

Or are there?

Can you reframe how you feel about the friends zone or at least consider that it might be a place to visit or spend some time? A new mindset may be a key to romance for you. 

What happens in the friend zone? People become friends. Having friends is lovely. So far, so good.

What is missing from the friends zone? Red hot, mind numbing Sex, of course. The tingles. Physical bonding. A reciprocal desire to see where this leads. 

Could it be that the friends zone and the romance zone have a bridge between them? Are they linked?

Some people begin a relationship in the friends zone and then cross the bridge into the romance zone. It takes effort and energy to be curious about each other, feel a mutual connection and discover what each of you like. Common ground. From this friends zone beginning you can each decide to combine your relationship energies in the romance zone. Or go your own ways. No judgment.

What will grant or deny you unlimited access in the friends zone and the romance zone? 

Your expectations.

Your expectations allow you access to the friends zone or allow you access to the romance zone. An open mind will help you go between both zones: back and forth. Being comfortable in both zones will serve you well no matter your relationship status.

In many long term love relationships, sex happens in phases. Reality. Sex might be full on or it might be infrequent for a week, or a month or several months in your long term relationship. If you are able to navigate between zones, you won't lock yourself into a narrow concept for happiness.

Imagine you are not in a relationship now. 

If you expect "The One" to arrive in your life and understand, nurture, protect and shower you with gifts, attention and soul shaking love, you are placing an unrealistic intention on the people you meet. Your keep the friends zone and romance zone harshly separate for yourself in your head and heart with your expectations.

The people you meet automatically and immediately fall into the friends zone or the romance zone. Done deal. Over. Next. Just like laundry, only two possibilities.

Is that fair? Fair to you? Of course not. 

How many times have you met someone and immediately and judged them? And disliked them? Be honest. Have any of your solid friendships begun with no expectation and/or a negative or slightly off connection? Did a connective friendship develop between you?

No expectation (not standards -keep your standards as you like them) allows a connection to develop between you and the people you meet naturally. With ease. Honestly. 

As you release your limiting expectations, you feel lighter. Uncover and unlearn what drains, exhausts and hurts you. A happier you is attractive. 

Like the mid-range colors in your laundry that wash together, see new possibilities for yourself to expand.Open space for new relationships. Friendships, love relationships and all the beautiful connections in between belong in your basket of joy.


For more of this grab a free copy of your free guide:
5 Steps to Find Your Forever Love Even if You Hate Dating Games at https://optimizedrelationships.com/free

my website: https://optimizedrelationships.com/optin

Photo by Raka Rachgo on Unsplash