Soul Love

In love


I watch you sleep to make sure you are breathing

I want to help with your struggle but know I can't

I want to protect you from harm

I will be emotionally devastated if you leave for any reason

I know there are layers to my love for you, some I don't understand

I don't want my time with you to end

I think of you many, many times during my day and at night

The thought of you brings joy to my heart

I am afraid of how much I do love you

I love you even though it isn't logical

I notice your presence through your absence

Love on

www.optimizedrelationships.com

Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash

Lied to Much?

It seems like there is a bit of upset in the air lately. Rage. Static. Fear. Lies. 

I get it. You have been lied to repeatedly and it's frustrating, unfair and just plain confusing:

you might have been lead to believe there is a quick fix or pill for everything

or more money will solve all your problems 

or your soulmate will understand you more than you understand yourself. 

Nope. Not true.

You are the only one who can save yourself. So stop looking for your solutions outside of yourself. Every resource you spend chasing something outside of yourself is misdirected. You can not fill up from the outside in with food, people, material things, shopping, video games, porn, exercise, alcohol, drugs, gambling or thrills.

Being in perfect health won't do it

Winning the lottery won't do it

Finding your soulmate won't do it


No one or nothing is going to empower you to make your life as you dream and know it can be for you, except YOU. No one knows you better than you, so trust yourself. Believe in yourself. 

Empower yourself. You are the only one who can do it. 

Peace, love and fulfillment are inside you now. Remember them. Reacquaint yourself with what you have always known. Listen to your intuition, your voice and your wisdom. Understand and share them. True empowerment is sourced within and radiates from you. 

You can do it.

It will be incredibly hard work.
It will be extremely rewarding. 

Life isn't happening to you, life is happening through you and the moment you flip the script, everything changes. Tune into what you have inside and all the background noise fades. . . 


Instead of being fed up with stuff that doesn't work, use that energy to feed your talents, strengths and gifts. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind. Create an incredible journey, life and joy for yourself. The definition of empowerment. 

Love on. 




***For more of this grab a free copy of your free guide:
5 Steps to Find Your Forever Love Even if You Hate Dating Games at https://optimizedrelationships.com/free

my website: https://optimizedrelationships.com/optin

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

Stop Biting Back Your Tears

Love is infinite and eternal, yet love relationships change and sometimes end:

Someone you love moves far away and you lose touch . . . 
A connective relationship dissolves. . . 
Your loved one passes. 

This doesn't mean your love for your loved one ends. Your love for them changes. And so do you. 

When an important love relationship ends, the realization that you won't be able to see, touch, talk or be with your loved one again is beyond painful. Stinging. Biting. A heart crushing loss. 

You feel an aching emptiness. Physical illness. A void. A challenge to go on and to function.

Loss tilts the day and then marks your days. Life doesn't seem the same. The finality bites into your heart. You cant go back and yet you don't know how to go forward.

You replay memories that bring you comfort and more grief. The echoes and whispers of your love hurt you now. Your loved one is present through their absence. 

How the hell do you get out of this pain-laced house of mirrors?

Trust yourself. Go within. Close your tear swollen eyes and allow yourself a moment of peace. A small time out from grief. 

A breath.

Give yourself more small breaks at first. Then increase the number and frequency of times you allow yourself to rest. Let go and relax even if you can't sleep now.

Time will help you begin to heal and you can help yourself as well. You can choose to be gentle with yourself. Don't judge yourself. Don't make yourself wrong.

Allow your feelings. Allow yourself time to process your feelings. Allow your strength to return.

Reach out. Ask for help. Ask for help, it is one of the most courageous actions you can take.

Talk to someone who will listen and understand and not steer a majority of conversation to their experiences of grief and loss. Express your feelings in a safe and non-judgmental space in your way. 

It hurts more to keep grief in. Journal, exercise, create and express yourself. 

Allow your grief. Clarify the learning and gems in your grief. Release it.

Don't stuff it down inside of you. Don't fight it. Don't numb yourself out and dissociate from it. 

Your grief means you loved. Your grief will take you to the other side of your emotions and to days of more love. Make peace with your feelings. Feel the whole spectrum of emotions, they are your guides to more of what you want and less of what you don't want.

Your grief will help you connect with more joy when you are ready. The deep loss you feel is a hint at the magnitude of love you feel. 

And you are here to love. 

For more of this grab a free copy of your free guide:
5 Steps to Find Your Forever Love Even if You Hate Dating Games at https://optimizedrelationships.com/free

my website: https://optimizedrelationships.com/optin



Photo by pan xiaozhen on Unsplash

Doing Your Laundry and Dating

The friends zone.

Uh-oh. . . . .
Not a good place to be.
You have preconceived ideas about it.

The friends zone gets no love. The relationship zone gets love and it's where all the magic happens.

Like sorting your laundry from a broken plastic laundry basket into lights and darks, there are two possibilities.

Or are there?

Can you reframe how you feel about the friends zone or at least consider that it might be a place to visit or spend some time? A new mindset may be a key to romance for you. 

What happens in the friend zone? People become friends. Having friends is lovely. So far, so good.

What is missing from the friends zone? Red hot, mind numbing Sex, of course. The tingles. Physical bonding. A reciprocal desire to see where this leads. 

Could it be that the friends zone and the romance zone have a bridge between them? Are they linked?

Some people begin a relationship in the friends zone and then cross the bridge into the romance zone. It takes effort and energy to be curious about each other, feel a mutual connection and discover what each of you like. Common ground. From this friends zone beginning you can each decide to combine your relationship energies in the romance zone. Or go your own ways. No judgment.

What will grant or deny you unlimited access in the friends zone and the romance zone? 

Your expectations.

Your expectations allow you access to the friends zone or allow you access to the romance zone. An open mind will help you go between both zones: back and forth. Being comfortable in both zones will serve you well no matter your relationship status.

In many long term love relationships, sex happens in phases. Reality. Sex might be full on or it might be infrequent for a week, or a month or several months in your long term relationship. If you are able to navigate between zones, you won't lock yourself into a narrow concept for happiness.

Imagine you are not in a relationship now. 

If you expect "The One" to arrive in your life and understand, nurture, protect and shower you with gifts, attention and soul shaking love, you are placing an unrealistic intention on the people you meet. Your keep the friends zone and romance zone harshly separate for yourself in your head and heart with your expectations.

The people you meet automatically and immediately fall into the friends zone or the romance zone. Done deal. Over. Next. Just like laundry, only two possibilities.

Is that fair? Fair to you? Of course not. 

How many times have you met someone and immediately and judged them? And disliked them? Be honest. Have any of your solid friendships begun with no expectation and/or a negative or slightly off connection? Did a connective friendship develop between you?

No expectation (not standards -keep your standards as you like them) allows a connection to develop between you and the people you meet naturally. With ease. Honestly. 

As you release your limiting expectations, you feel lighter. Uncover and unlearn what drains, exhausts and hurts you. A happier you is attractive. 

Like the mid-range colors in your laundry that wash together, see new possibilities for yourself to expand.Open space for new relationships. Friendships, love relationships and all the beautiful connections in between belong in your basket of joy.


For more of this grab a free copy of your free guide:
5 Steps to Find Your Forever Love Even if You Hate Dating Games at https://optimizedrelationships.com/free

my website: https://optimizedrelationships.com/optin

Photo by Raka Rachgo on Unsplash