It Was Clear She Couldn't Go On

“I have trust issues”

“Trust is a problem for me because my ex cheated on me”

“I want to learn to trust again but I don’t think I can”

I hear painful variations on trust repeatedly

Trust is beyond important

Healthy relationships don’t thrive without it

Yet we have a fucked-up view on it

Because we are taught from infancy to give our trust to others

We learn to trust others to fulfill our basic needs of food, shelter and safety and

This leads some of us to grow up and search outside ourselves for emotional or financial fulfillment too

As we age, we continue the pattern and look for people to trust with our emotions

Or we shut down

In hopes we will be okay

Only to realize that not all other people will care for and value our trust like we do

Setting ourselves up to feel gutted or numb

Because we are wired for survival, we focus on who we can’t trust

Breeze by who we can and

We trust only a few people or nobody at all

Open or closed heart

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results

Is it time to change up these insane patterns?

How?

By nurturing the profound trust you have inside

You can trust yourself, right? Or learn to trust yourself?

You are the one person you can trust

You know you will take care of you

And that is healthy

Do not give the responsibility of your well being to other people

Who haven’t earned your trust

This is different than closing off your heart

This is doing your own deep self-work

To remember and nurture your own inner guidance

By plugging into your trust, self-love, forgiveness, self-confidence and empowerment

So that you may live into more of your unlimited potential with joy

And serve others

By holding the space for them to do the same

As you learn to re-remember the treasures you have inside instead of searching for them outside of yourself

In your love partner or in other people’s approval

You take responsibility for your own fulfillment and sovereignty

You empower your self to

Own your emotions, inner wisdom and actions

And remove this burden of outer fulfillment from yourself and your loved ones

Lifting a massive weight from many shoulders

To create

Relationships sourced not in neediness, but in light love

Love On,

Risa Kelley

Optimized Relationships

p.s.- I have new information, exercises, visualizations and accountability for you if you want support with re-embracing your heart wisdom, message me here: https://m.me/RisaKelley?ref=LetsChat or if you want to talk about it, get on the phone and schedule a free 30 minute call with me, click here: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching

Photo by DJ Johnson on Unsplash

Mind Blown and Heart Broken

No matter where you have ventured or where you are now with love, please

Use your brilliant imagination to visualize

A brutal love paradigm

Where love is bartered

And sourced outside of ourselves

Where we need to bring love from the outside

Into our hearts

Through a significant partner or other people or food or alcohol or drugs or a million other “things”

That is the only way

To feel loved

It’s like having the wind beaten out of our lungs

Mind blown and heart broken

We learn this from society and from

Amazing people who were taught to survive and love

And somehow made it through this heart crushing maze

Of shame, guilt, anger, embarrassment and

Feeling separated from the love they craved

Over and over

Endlessly

The definition of loneliness

That brings us to our knees

In the darkest nights of our souls

Encourages us to judge ourselves

If we are not partnered up with our soul mate, significant other or loved one

Breathe deeply and leave this old trap behind

Thankfully

We are evolving out of this soul crushing mindset

And into

More love

Now

Ask me how

Now

Love On,

Risa Kelley

p.s.- I have plenty of new information, visualizations, exercise and accountability for your new love mindsets, schedule your FREE 30-minute Love Coaching Call with me at a time that works for you.  Click here to schedule your call: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching 

Photo by Joyce McCown on Unsplash

Your Heart Knows

I stream bright, rainbow colors of unconditional love to your heart as your read this. We are one. Happy February 14, 2019 to all that celebrate. Photo by Tyler Lastovich on Unsplash

So Caught Up In You

Where do you go for love and relationships help?

Google? Social media? Friends? Family members? “Experts”?

We are taught to disconnect from our inner voice and seek information outside of ourselves

No wonder so many of us feel lost, are wandering, want more

Are you ready to flip this painful script?

Try something fresh?

Good

I know you are

Let’s start inside

Schedule daily quiet time for yourself

In the quiet, you can hear

Your inner voice

Your intuition

That is your inner wisdom

It may seem new, frustrating or quiet but

Inside is a very good place to start

The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you have

Because the way you think of and treat yourself is the way you think of and treat everyone else in your life

Loved ones, pets and higher powers included

The way you love yourself is the way you love other people and teach them how to love you

Important stuff

Self-love is where all your relationships start

I know, I know

You have been taught that loving yourself is

Big Selfish

Not Humble

That everyone else is worthy of your time and help before you are

That help is on the way

If you try hard enough

And give selflessly to other people

Someone will love you

Is it working?

Didn’t work for me

When you give your all to others

You have nothing left to give to yourself

You end up feeling exhausted, depleted, unappreciated and worst of all unloved

And still you soldier on

With hope in your heart and no way of knowing how to bring that outside love inside

So that day after day

You feel further away from what you already have inside

Big Love

Seems so messed up

Have you had enough of this?

Love yourself

First

Make peace with all your emotions

Remember the light and the love you hold that never went away

Feel them? Way down deep inside?

Breathe into them

Reconnect with the love energy that connects you to all love energy

Fill your own tanks with compassion, care, laughter and love

So that you naturally overflow genuine compassion, care, laughter and love to others

With ease

Begin to love yourself unconditionally and

Notice fresh empowerment and

Authentic confidence

A natural attraction

To drink in more joy as you

See the world through loving eyes and

Hold space for everyone to do the same

Help create a new circle of real love

Now, not tomorrow

It starts in you

With you

For you

Ultimately for us

Love On,

Risa Kelley

p.s.- I have plenty of new information, visualizations, exercise and accountability for you, schedule your FREE 30-minute Love Coaching Call with me at a time that works for you.  Click here to schedule your call: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching

Photo by Atahualpa Cáceres Primera on Unsplash