Getting thee Feels for The Emotional Staircase

Have you ever found yourself biting back tears?

Or stuffing your painful emotions?

Or wishing you didn’t have to feel anything at all ever again?

Resisting your emotions hurts. It hurts now and it hurts later. It can block your ability to enjoy your life to the fullest.

If you want less pain and more joy in your life, get to know and embrace all your emotions. The whole spectrum or staircase. Choose to get the feels. Get good at mining the gold your feelings and emotions hold for you.

Your feelings arise from inside you and your emotions are your responses to something happening outside of you. All your feelings and emotions are valid and valuable. Your feelings and emotions have news for you.

Close your eyes and allow your breathing to settle.

Center yourself and visualize your emotions and feelings being a colorful staircase. Picture emotional stairs or steps from a basement of awful to open sky amazing. The stairs or steps at the bottom of the staircase don’t feel good like: fear, shame, guilt and anger. The next steps feel slightly less uncomfortable as you work your way to the top of the staircase. In the middle of the staircase you feel emotions like annoyance to irritation to boredom before you reach higher up the emotional stairs to contentment and curiosity. The steps at the top of the staircase feel fabulous like: peace, love, joy and bliss.

Become aware of your emotions and use the way you feel to move up the emotional staircase. Identify and allow what you feel to choose something that feels better for you.

When you feel uncomfortable, upset or unhappy that is information for you to use. Allow yourself to feel the way you do. Next, learn why you feel that way, find the lesson. Then keep the lesson and release the emotion.

Let go of your feelings and emotions to keep healthy energy flowing in yourself.

If you feel upset or unhappy, you are not aligning with who you really are. You are not connected with who you are at your core. Notice where you are on the emotional staircase. Become aware of, allow, learn from and release all your feelings and emotions. After you have released the emotions that block you, choose a better feeling thought to move a step or two up the staircase. You never know what small step will help you feel better.

It is a process of choosing to feel better first and then choosing better feeling thoughts.

When you feel happy or joyful, you are aligning with who you really are. You are close and connected with who you are at your core. Mindfully choose to allow and understand your emotions to help yourself feel better anytime.

Use this simple internal compass of connecting with what feels better and moving away from what doesn’t to connect with more joy. Remember to move up the staircase to help yourself. Joy is your birthright.

Next time you are tempted to numb out your painful emotions or try to forget about them and hope they go away, remember your feelings and emotions hold information for you to feel better. Self-soothe. Be gentle with yourself and choose to feel better. Navigate your way up the staircase of emotions and feelings to more authentic peace, love and joy. Choose your thoughts.

Allow yourself to feel the full spectrum of all your emotions and feelings to free up blocks and feel better fast. Mindfully choose to keep your emotions moving and your body moving to feel more of who you are at your core – beautiful love and light. 

Love On.

Get more free content here and sign up for my Love Lounge membership site here: https://optimizedrelationships.com/lovelounge

Photo by Bryan Minear on Unsplash

Love: When the Problem is the Cure

In love relationships, bad break ups and/or unexpected endings are excruciatingly painful.

Soul crushingly devastating.

They hurt beyond words.

But you can find your way back to yourself in time. . . your time.

Go within. Grieve. Get the pain out. Pamper yourself. Give yourself space. Calibrate the right amount of time for you.

But don’t take too much time.

Don’t get down on all love. Don’t hate on love. Don’t become a professional love cynic. Don’t disconnect from the one thing in your world that will help you heal.

Love.

Who needs love?

You do, and here’s why:

So you can learn to use self-love to help yourself feel better.

So you can confront and then understand and finally embrace all of your emotions and feelings. Help yourself get skilled at reflecting on, learning from and liberating your emotions and feelings. Your emotions are your responses to things that happen outside of you. Your feelings are sourced within you.

So you can experience all of your feelings and emotions and gather the information they offer you. Use that information to choose to feel better. Align with more of your happiness.

So you can process your experiences. Find the meaning in them. Mend. Let your emotions and feelings go so they don’t block your body, stress you out and make you sick.

So you can heal up and go to your joy.

So you can connect with all love through your love.

So you can help others heal too.

So you can share your love in your way.

So you can be the love that you are at the center of your heart.

Vulnerable.

Real.

Raw.

Ready for more connection, inclusion, healing, liberation and always more love.

Love isn’t the obstacle; it is the way to more self-love, romantic love and collective love.

Love On.

For more, get your free 5 step love guide here: https://optimizedrelationships.com/5steplgbridge

photo courtesy of ayo-ogunseinde at Unsplash.

Luck and Love

Are you lucky in Love?

Are you unlucky in Love?

Would you be reading this if you weren’t a tiny bit interested in love?

What’s luck got to do with love anyway? Not a lot.

Not really. Love isn’t so much something that happens to you. It happens through you. Love lives within you now.  It always has, it always will. You and your love are inseparable, stuck like beautiful glue.

Want to feel more self-love?

Close your eyes and allow your breathing to settle. Forget love with other people for now. Think of love and yourself. Think of what unconditional love feels like to you. In the center of your heart.

Self-love.

Remember a time when love felt healing to you. Recall a time in your life when you felt completely safe and blissed out. Were you in nature? With a pet? Near a stream, a lake, the ocean? Is it sunny? Bring up the details of what you were seeing, thinking, feeling. In your thoughts, revisit a time when you felt safe, warm and embraced by life. Call it up. Use it to center yourself in challenging situations.

You are love expressing as yourself. You come from love and you return to more love.

Of course, your love energy connects you with love energy everywhere. One Love. Big Love. Unconditional Love. Love Consciousness.

You are loving, lovable and loved. You are your love.

Feel unconditional love wrap around you like a clean, cotton blanket fresh from the dryer. Notice how it calms you and claims you. Unconditional love is safe. Unconditional love is inclusive. Unconditional love is not judgmental. Unconditional love helps you know that you are enough and you are not broken. You don’t need to be fixed.

The only time you are separate from unconditional love is when you think you are or you believe you are or you feel you are. When you notice that you feel separate from love, use it as clue, a red flag or a sign to reconnect with the love you have in your heart and at the core of who you are.  Get back to your loving mindset.

Consciously choose to inhabit love.

Mindfully remember you are in the universal flow of love and it is within you. Together. One. Your heart beat, your pulse and your breath. Visualize bright, inclusive, warm, white light as it pours into your entire being.  Visualize white love light with sparks of gorgeous colors as they flow to and through every cell in your body.

Feel the heal.

Luck has little to do with it. Let unconditional love envelop you.

Check out more at:   

https://optimizedrelationships.com/optin

Photo by Dan Freeman on Unsplash

Follow Your Feelings To Love

Relationships have a starting point.  

Of course, you know this starting place is within your reach. In your heart. Maybe you want to create a relationship and maybe you don't. Sometimes it just happens. 

Your relationships with your family began or continued with your birth or theirs. Your relationships with your friends started the moment you met.  You might remember the stir of love at first sight or you might not believe in it, but your relationships start with your first interaction.

It is all begins with energy. Energy connects us. Hate energy separates us. Love energy bonds us.

As you become aware of your feelings and your emotions, (your feelings are within you and your emotions are your reactions to external events and people), you can allow them, learn from them and release them to help energy move through your body. To help yourself feel better.

You are the only one who can help yourself feel better.

You begin to find the gems in the most painful experience. Instead of avoiding, stuffing or numbing out your feelings and emotions, you learn more about yourself.  It isn’t easy. It is rewarding. You do deep inner work to gain more clarity.

You trust yourself.

Your deep self-knowing and self-awareness help you understand and self soothe. As you realize you are responsible for your feelings and emotions, external people and situations have less influence over you. People pleasing fades. You are empowered to take ownership of your feelings, emotions and life. From this concrete foundation of strength, choose to shift to what feels better for you.

Choosing to feel better puts and keeps you in harmony with the flow of energy of the universe. The more you envision and inhabit your joy, the more time you enjoy! You don’t have to coerce of force anything. You flow in the current of energy that matches your energy. When you are in your joy, you are naturally attractive.

You are aligned with the real you. The person you are at your very core. The person that is love. Game playing gives way to open, honest connection and communication.

Effort to ease.

You elevate the relationship you have with yourself.

And then every relationship you have follows.

Love On.

check out my website here: https://optimizedrelationships.com/optin 

Photo by James Baldwin on Unsplash

Ready to Revisit Love?

You.

I see you everywhere and nowhere. Hell, I used to be you.

I notice you as you go about your day: at work, at the store and in traffic. I see you out and about. Surviving.

But something is missing. . . . 

Big Love.

I understand you don't want to give up on love but you've learned love hurts. It's crushed your heart. You want to try/not try love relationships again. The teeter totter is as confusing as it is exhausting.

I don't see you having a blast with all your relationships or your emotions. I don't see you loving full throttle. You wonder if it's worth your effort.

You are not thriving or firing on all your sparked cylinders. 

And that is why I am here.

For you. With you. My passion is to help you learn effective new ways to have the long lasting love relationship you dream of. To connect to more joy and love - your birthrights.

Remember this: It's not your fault. 

The old games, rules and generalizations you were taught simply don't work. Barely ever did. They cause extreme pain and separation. It's time to kick them to the curb and begin a new path to love today.

There is so much more for you. More hope, more ease and more love. 

If your are a doer and many areas of your life are going well for you except your love relationships. . . and you have tried time and time again to create relationships you are worthy of without success . . .If you know inside at a deep level there is much more love for you  . . .and you've learned to numb out your emotions that hurt . . .

THEN . . .hang on to your beating heart, you are in for a wild and exhilarating flight in Big Love. One Love. Your Love.

I am here to connect you with more love; so much more of what you crave. To help you listen to and honor your internal wisdom. To amplify and honor those intuitive whispers that remind you that you are so worthy of being loved. To create relationships you love in fresh ways you might not have considered. To have fun in love. 

How?  

Unlearn what you have learned that hurts.

The obstacle is the way and sometimes you need help seeing what keeps you stuck. I support you, provide accountability and help you reveal your love blind spots. Together we look at your concerns, fear, limiting beliefs and your habits, because if you knew how to change it up, you would have by now. I help you release what keeps you stuck and replace it with what feels much better. Unconditional love. 

Where do we start?

With those emotions you have been avoiding. Stuffing. Numbing out.

Your emotions are your key to connecting to more love now. They are your quiet guides brimming with information for you to live the love life you want. When you explore and understand the helpful information they give you, everything changes. 

You thrive. You live out loud and in all colors of the spectrum. You shine your love light. 

You stop judging yourself. You stop defending yourself. You draw on a internally sourced well of confidence that makes you rejection proof and naturally attractive. 

Sound good?

It's time to get loving.

Learn to let go of your blind spots and blocks during safe and sensitive weekly phone conversations. And unlike therapy, we don't revisit the past over and over again or work for years on what you want for yourself. You want new results now and I can help you deliver them faster and for less expense than you would get on your own. 

The next move is yours.

Check out more on my website: https://optimizedrelationships.com/optin
or pick a time to talk to me for your free phone coaching session that works for you here:  https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching
Open up space for new. New experiences, new adventures and new people. It's time for your new love. It takes hard work. And so does staying stuck. Surviving instead of thriving. 

The choice is yours. Choose love. 

Love on.






Photo by Ian Espinosa on Unsplash