I'm So Moving On

It seems so cruel and

so many of my clients face this

that I want to shine light on it here

Call it catfishing, love scamming, what the hell else

It happens all the time in our social media world and it goes a little something like this:

You see someone on line you are attracted to, you strike up an on-line convo, you can’t believe the connection you have, you “talk” often in written messages, things move quickly as they say all the “right” things, you become (usually unknowingly) emotionally attached and

BOOM!

They need money just for a little while, they will pay you back double or

They need visa cards, I-tunes cards or other cash loaded cards or valuable items you can provide

Just temporarily and

They will come visit you soon to be together, but

They have (plausible to the emotionally attached you) reasons why they can’t talk to you on the phone or

On Facetime

Or why they can’t meet you face-to-face

And they question your feelings for them if you are even slightly curious about what is happening and they attempt to manipulate and control you through their anger, your shame or both

What a nasty fucking emotional cocktail

It wrecks people emotionally with guilt, embarrassment, grief, abandonment and anguish

My job is to listen to you without judgment about exactly what happened in this beyond devastating scamming scheme and provide insights to how it works and support you until you recover

And you heart is still attached to it all

If it’s happened to you, I hope it never happens to you again

If it hasn’t happened to you, make sure it doesn’t with this simple sentence:

It isn’t a relationship if you haven’t met face-to-face

Don’t let yourself become emotionally attached to someone you have never met, to a photo, to well spun love stories, to the idea of being in love or to anyone you haven’t seen and spoken with

IRL

Period.

Love On,

Risa Kelley

Optimized Relationships

p.s.- If you want support with your love scamming, message me here: https://m.me/RisaKelley or if you want to talk about it, get on the phone and schedule a free 30 minute call with me, click here: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Love Stereotypes Suck

Some women have general love tendencies

Many do not

Some men have general love tendencies

Many do not

Some love “experts” will tell you what men want or what women want

And that’s where they lose me

F**k love stereotypes

We want to be loved for who we are

Each individual person is so unique, so unpredictable and a combination of all their own

Genetics, preferences, experiences, and emotions that

I don’t think there is a foolproof way to predict

What we will do

When we will do it

How we love

Yep, labels suck

When we label each other

Or need a man or a woman

To act a certain way,

There is a part of our self that we are not taking care of in that very same way

No judgment

It’s information to use

To grow

To take care of our self in that way

To become responsible for our own emotions

So, we can enjoy love relationships from empowerment

Not neediness

I believe we are here to learn more about ourselves and each other

Without expectations, assumptions, prejudices or narrow pigeonholes

We are here to allow and reconcile the feminine and masculine we have inside

So that we can accept

And love our self fully and

Offer that same unconditional love and acceptance to each other

With open minds and open hearts

Love On

Risa Kelley

Optimized Relationships

p.s.- For new love information and tools, message me here: https://m.me/RisaKelley or if you want to get on the phone and schedule a free 30 minute call with me at a time that works for you, click here: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching

Photo by Javardh on Unsplash

Comparing Relationships

What kills creating new love relationships before they start?

The toxic social conditioning of

Comparison and

Competition

You have seen it a million times over dozens of platforms

A fake or real relationship lifestyle

Celebrities posting about their fabulous partners

Friends coupling up on social media relationship status’

Nothing is wrong with well intentioned sharing and genuine help

Until we compare/contrast ourselves with a tiny slice of life posted on social media or face to face

Until we compare our insides with other people’s outsides

Until we use other people’s relationships to beat ourselves up

We have a natural tendency to assess our environment and scan for threats

To measure what we lack

And that is all well and good

Until it isn’t

Until we take it from the jungle to our emotions

Comparing ourselves to others can turn into a nasty cycle of I am better than they are, I am less than they are.

Hurts

Ever done it?

We all have

No one is superior to anybody else, no matter what we have been taught

What’s the way out?

To unlearn ranking, rating and judging

To measure what we have in this present moment without comparing or competing

With love

Big Love

Unconditional Love

Invincible Love

When we offer compassion and love to ourselves first, we begin to shift to genuine gratitude

Genuine gratitude is a game changer

The game changer

With gratitude we measure what we love about what we have now

And get more to be grateful for

A delicious cycle

Are you in?

Love On,

Risa Kelley

Optimized Relationships

p.s.- message me here: https://m.me/RisaKelley or if you want to get on the phone and schedule a free 30 minute call with me, click here: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching

Welcome the Love Lighthouse

Can you feel it?

We are constructing a bright new lighthouse of love and connection on the internet

Online we have access to thousands of online sites, apps, coaches and abundant information

Which is a fabulous leap forward for all of us

Until. . .

It isn’t

And we use our old love approaches, patterns and pain to navigate these sparkling new love frontiers

I don’t have to tell you

It’s not working as well as it can

Brave and courageous lovelies, lovers and love lookers step up to try new love systems

with buckets of past pain and ineffective tools to turn up their light

And wonder why they get the same, if not worse, love results

I am here to tell you

It’s all in our love mindset

Your love mindset

Individually and collectively

And it stars with individually

With you

It begins with your awareness

Of your love energy

Of your light quotient

And a willingness to release what hurts you and try new

Next

Are you willing to do whatever it takes to increase and shine your love energy?

I have effective new information, tools, exercises and visualizations to help you and they are important

But not as important

As the love sourced in you

Now

No matter what anybody has taught, told and sold you

You are not broken

You do not need to be fixed

You need to remember

The beautiful and blinding unconditional love and light that always exist together in your heart

That are you

And ask for help

Love On,

Risa Kelley

Optimized Relationships

p.s.- message me here: https://m.me/RisaKelley or if you want to get on the phone and schedule a free 30 minute call with me, click here: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching

Photo by Evgeni Tcherkasski on Unsplash

Are You a Love Lurker?

No judgment

Judgment is the opposite of love

No judgment

Because we all do it

Read and watch without commenting

Keep our opinions and feelings quiet

For a powerful reason

Maybe not to remember or bring up pain

Maybe to spare someone being hurt

Maybe not to interact

But here’s the thing:

We need to share our ideas, emotions, feelings, opinions, dreams, embarrassments, silliness, laughter and pain about all types of love because the more we share, the more we learn, the more we can help each other.

Understand

Relate

Express

On our shared love journey

Here

In this moment

In this space

Together

When we share what matters to us most about any love, we bring our emotions to light and offer their information to our personal and then collective awareness’

We begin to shift from fear towards unconditional love

We increase the compassion we give to each other

We shine more love out into the world

And you know where that leads

To more mutual understanding, empathy and kindness

To valuing everyone’s contribution

Helping us to plan and take action on

Solutions that will overwhelm our challenges

And consciously create relationships we can enjoy

A planet beginning to shift to more unconditional love

Of cooperation, coherence and patience

Of shared unity and inclusion

A world we dream of

A world sourced in love

If you lurk

Or if you don’t

No judgment

When you are ready, we welcome your respectful opinions, ideas and feelings about love

Now is the time

This is the place

Love On,

Risa Kelley

Optimized Relationships

p.s.- message me here: https://m.me/RisaKelley or if you want to schedule a free 30 minute call with me, click here: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching

Photo by Dave Sebele on Unsplash