Melt - An Unconditional Love Visualization

How’s your creative imagination these days? You up for a little imagining? Let’s visualize. You can’t do it wrong, will you join me?

When you have a quiet moment with no distractions, go off grid. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Breathe softly in your natural and comfortable rhythm. Unwind and let go of all your concerns and mind chatter.

When you feel present and centered, begin to visualize. Imagine a fountain. See a gorgeous fountain. This fountain is filled with clear, clean sparkling water. See the water move and flow and dance.  It’s silver and it sparkles and reflects beautiful white light.

Step into the water. Slowly, slowly relax into the water. Allow yourself to float. Move with the water. Feel how the crystal-clear water circulates everywhere. It envelops you. It warms you. It holds you. It glides. Move through the water and with the gentle current.

As you float, allow yourself to relax at a deeper level. Let go and relax even more. Soften as you melt into the water.

Float along and notice the sun above you. You are warm and feeling at one with the water and the sun. With everything. You are at peace.

Allow your mind to drift as you remember.  Pause and remember you are one with the water and you are the water.  The water covers the earth and lives in the sky. Water is everywhere. Water is life. It’s in the air, the oceans, the rivers and lakes. It’s rain. It’s snow. It is ice and it flows. Go to and through the water everywhere.

Water is within you as well as outside of you. You are inseparable. You are one.

Float along a little more. Go further. You are totally embraced and relaxed in a warm current of water with liquid light. It wraps you like a silver blanket.

Drift a little further now. Go way back in your memory. Back to before you think you can remember. Then remember. Remember this silver, white sparkling, dancing moving light is unconditional love.

Unconditional love embraces you, warms you and envelops you. You are held in unconditional love. You are one and the same. Love is within you and outside of you. Love runs to and through you. You are inseparable. You are one.

You are home. You are safe. You are limitless.

You are loved, loving and loveable. You are with unconditional love in all times, places and spaces.  You are held in Big Love.

Remember this. Infuse yourself with unconditional love. Re visit it. Recharge yourself with it.

You are love.

Love On,

Risa

Photo by Lurm on Unsplash

Love Ruts

Comfort zones. What’s your love comfort zone like? Do you choose to leave it?

Staying in your comfort zone in your love relationships is okay. Seriously okay. Comfort zones allow you to process your feelings and figure out what you want. They allow you to feel safe and thoughtfully respond in your relationship(s) and I’m all for that.

But there is a catch.

Comfort zones often grow too big. Without your permission. Then you find yourself feeling restless. Or bored and unfulfilled. Craving new people to have new experiences and adventures with, right?

You see where I’m going with this. Comfort zones are great until they aren’t. Until they quietly contract. Until you feel stuck. Stagnant.

Feeling stuck can tempt you to break out of your comfort zone in dramatic away. Instead of taking a flyer and doing what might harm yourself and/or other people involved, plan your expansion. Thoughtfully push those personal development boundaries. Seek new, next and what you have always wanted to try.

It doesn’t matter if you are in a happily or sadly in a love relationship, happily single or sadly single, every once in awhile ditch your comfort zone to grow and enjoy new learning. Try something that raises your energy just thinking about it. Do something that scares you a bit. If the thought of it terrifies and excites you simultaneously, do it! Go to your magic. (unless it involves cheating on your partner in any way. In that case, FINISH one relationship before you start another or suffer the consequences. You have been warned.)

Grant yourself permission to start something new. Grow. Embrace the beginner’s grace you had naturally as a child. Challenge yourself not to be skilled or masterful or adult at something fresh.

Play.

Be bold. Be creative. Be child-like (vs. childish) and have fun growing the boundaries of your comfort zone until it becomes your personal playground. Remember and reconnect with what you do well and what you fires you up. Recall what you loved to do before you became an adult.

Don’t just talk about connecting with new people, places and experiences, do it. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. Action PLUS movement get your energy and momentum flowing and will carry you forward. Waiting is the opposite of living. Get living. Create your life and love relationships as you want them now. Live out loud. Shift out of stuck and into new.

Love On,

Risa

p.s. For a safe space to talk about all things love, check out my face book group loveologists here:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1503456919702692/

Photo by Shelby Miller on Unsplash

A Heart For A Heart

You might be really, really tempted to do it in your relationships.

Once you start it, it is hard to stop.

It leads to more pain, hurt and game playing.

It results in distrust.

Retaliation.

It might have been human nature or instinct up until now. Or you might have been taught to do it. It’s a natural reaction to want to hurt someone after they hurt you. Hurt them on a deeper level than they hurt you to regain your power.

It might help you feel better temporarily. Not in the long run.

Retaliation is a like a ladder that leads to destruction. With each retaliation rung you climb, you bring your relationship closer and closer to destruction. Total disconnection.  

Strong words? Maybe. Retaliation can be a strong feeling.

Every time you indulge and act on your need for retaliation, you use your amazing resources, thoughts and energy for what will probably hurt another first and then yourself.

Since we are all connected, everything you do to someone else, you do to yourself.

Retaliation breeds more retaliation and where does it end? In complete confusion. In the severing of relationships. In heartache.

The urge to retaliate is a problem that can be shifted to an opportunity to what feels better to you. To help mend your relationships. To unite, not separate. To bring people closer together.

It starts with you.

Now you can consciously choose to respond instead of just react. You can mindfully respond instead of attempt to hurt another person or group of people. You can help yourself and your relationships become more powerful and loving.

First take a time out.

If you feel like retaliating, take 3 long comfortable breaths and remember you have the choice to retaliate or to help yourself feel better without escalating the hurt in the relationship. Pause and remember you are not powerless.  Get physically moving to move your thoughts of retaliation through your body.

You can stop the momentum of hurting each other. You can choose not to retaliate.

How does that feel?

The more you do it the easier it is. What if you hold space for others not to retaliate? Your relationships will improve with little to no retaliation. This one simple action will lead to more closeness and connection and less confusion and uncertainty in all your relationships.

Shift out of retaliation energy and into the power of helping yourself and others. This is your genuine strength and empowerment. It feels so good. Like you knew it would.

Love On,

Risa

p.s. For a safe space to talk about all things love, check out my face book group loveologists here:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1503456919702692/

Photo by Maxime VALCARCE on Unsplash

The Opposite Sex, Really?

You have been spoon fed toxic social conditioning since you were a small new human:

Men do this. . . and women do this. Females like this and males like this. Little boys are different than little girls because. . . Blah, blah, blah. 

Quite simply, we all want to be loved.

And yet most of us have been socially conditioned to put ourselves and others in gender boxes. Think about it. Men and women have been taught to identify each other as the “opposite sex.” Opposite as in we couldn’t be more unalike. Opposite as in we are from different planets. Opposite as in there could not be more distance between us.

Not so fast there.

Focusing on differences is not a way to bring people together, it’s a separation strategy.  It encourages disconnection and mind game playing with each other. It encourages appearance identification that feeds judgment.

Judgement hurts. It damages the person judging and the person being judged.

Pink v. Blue

Tough v. Soft

Big v. Petite

Aggressive v. Passive

Problem Solver v. Needs to Talk

The limiting opposite sex mindset is responsible for frustration and confusion in relationships today. Many people believe they will never figure out the opposite sex. How can we understand someone who doesn’t understand us? It’s like trying to talk through a thick wall with no other way to communicate. 

That wall exists in minds that don’t questions it. 

Not all men or women are one thing all the time. Not all men or women do one thing all the time. Not all people identify as male or female.

Instead of lasering in on alleged differences, we can focus on our similarities and begin relating to one another on a genuine heartfelt level. We can mindfully choose to focus on what feels much better: our inner knowing and outer connection. 

We learn from each other.

We all have our own combination of energies and who is to say these energies are only masculine or only feminine? The need to identify and judge is holding us back and stifling us. When we learn to love and accept ourselves and each other as we are, the world grows. Our energies and adaptabilities are in constant motion and the less we identify with a gender, an age, a body type, a personality classification, a country, a political party, an occupation, a lifestyle or money, the more freedom we have to be ourselves. To enjoy, allow and appreciate. To unconditionally love.

We all have similar needs and dreams. 

It is past time to stop judging each other by our outward appearances.  At this moment we can choose to see each other as multi-faceted human beings that love, are loved and are loveable regardless of what we look like or we can continue to identify and judge each other. 

It’s time to open our hearts as we consciously move toward unity and inclusion.

Allow.

Accept.

Understand.

Unlearn the opposite sex mindset. 

Love On, 

Risa

p.s. For new love mindsets and strategies, choose a time to talk with me that works for you here: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching 

Photo by Kevin Delvecchio on Unsplash

New Love Is On the Way

You know the drill all too well. Many single people want to be in love relationships. Many people in love relationships want to be single.

Unless you are a 100% happy with your relationships, you want what you don’t have, right?

You might search for true love outside of yourself. You might look to other people to figure out why you don’t have it.  What they have may seem like what you want. At first.

But, can you ever know exactly what someone else’s relationship is like? Probably not. Only the people in the relationship know the layers and sublayers of what is going on. They may tell you what’s going on in their relationship but that isn’t the same as being in that relationship.

You have been taught to look outside yourself for love. So, you look at other people’s relationships or lack of relationships and compare yourselves with them. It’s human nature I guess but it’s also a blueprint for unhappiness. Comparing your insides to anybody else’s outsides is unfair to you. You can’t possibly know what they are experiencing inside. The outside appearance doesn’t begin to give you an accurate picture of what is going in relationships.

If you must look at other people’s relationships, don’t compare yourself to them. Relationships are fluid and may be great and connective one day and totally fucked up the next. Plus, many of us have been miseducated about love with toxic ideas that encourage painful interactions.

It’s not love that stinks, it’s the old approach to relationships that does. It’s amazing any relationships work at all.

To begin to shift out of comparison into contentment, set aside quiet time to really define and clarify what feels good to you. Close your eyes and breathe. Or journal out your thoughts and feelings. Become aware of what feels right to you. Not to anybody else. Use your alone time to consciously connect with your love inside. It is there. Use it to create the love relationships you want or use your love fully embrace being happily single.

Give yourself permission to be authentically you. You get to create love your way!

Nurture your internal love to allow yourself to be happy no matter what is going on in your outside environment. Encourage yourself to connect with more love and joy no matter the circumstances. Consciously center yourself in love. You cannot fill up or bring enough of anything outside yourself to feel genuinely and lastingly fulfilled.  There is not enough food, alcohol, drugs, sex, shopping, video games, porn, fast cars, achievements, impressive houses or other people to fill you from the outside in.

Fill up from the inside.

Start with self-love and good self-care. Calibrate your sleep, nutrition, exercise, connections and contribution so that you feel well. Help yourself grow with love.

Learn to stop allowing external events and the people in them to influence your contentment. Empower yourself to live the life you want with self-love. Genuine love, peace of mind and fulfillment are sourced deep within you and when you remember them, you have an infinite supply to enjoy.

Look inside to see where the grass is greenest. Nurture and take responsibility for you.  What you do with your love is up to you.

Love On,

Risa

p.s. - Don’t go it alone! Ask for and accept help from others. Get my strategies or schedule a time to talk with me that works for you here: https://calendly.com/optimizedrelationships/lovecoaching 

Photo by Rémi Walle on Unsplash